July 16 • 07:10 PM

'Charlie' gits outta town with da 'missus'

June 11, 2008
Editor's note: The following guest column was written by 'Celery City Charlie,' whose wit and wisdom has appeared on our pages here and there for almost 20 years.

It seems Charlie has branched out from his roots in 'Celery City,' and would like to share his experiences from abroad.

Dear Mr. Editer:

I know its been a long time since I've taken a notion to rite to you but time jist has a way of passin and things I used to do regular like I jist don't seem to get around to so much anymore. The boys of the Spit & Whittle Club still meet on a semi-regular bases and I still keep the minutes of the meetins, I just ain't had the time, or the inclination, to forward thim on to you.

I'm writin now cause, and you ain't gonna believe this Mr. Editer, my old lady (the love of my life) up and told me she wanted to travel to Europe. Now Mr. Editer this is a gal that ain't traveled more'n 200 miles from where she was born in her entire life. I want you to know thet I suffer through winters cause she thinks Florida is too fer from home. Anyhow, one day she jist up and told me that she wanted to go to Europe afore she died and we were goin to go. Now I don't no nuthin about them computers or the internet but she sed she had it all taken care of and had already purchased the tickets, with my credit card I might add, and thet we were goin to fly to Frankfurt in Germany. Next think I knew we were on our way to get passports.

Jist a few days ago we got on the plane and headed out. You know Mr. Editer, I am not a small man and there sure ain't much room on those planes. However, when I found out they had Jack Daniels on board, he and I kept company the whole trip, the comfort level went up a couple of notches and time jist seemed to fly by.

We got into Frankfurt about 6 in the morning and the fun began. The missus sed she had everythin figured out. We would jist get on one of those trains to our hotel and rest, relax and see the sights. Good plan but hard to do. Did ya ever try to figure out a train schedule written in German?

She finally found someone who spoke English and they got us pointed in the right direction. You shudda seen us Mr. Editer, tryin to get on the train with all the luggage she packed. Enough for 6 months I'm thinkin. The trains stop for jist a short time and there we were tryin to get our luggage on with the doors closing. It weren't a pretty sight and definittly not relaxin.

Right now were in a town called Koblentz which is at the end of the Mosel River where it dumps into the Rhine River. We got us a good hotel and I met some German travelers that speak English ok and who like to drink beer. We have got along well. The Missus plan is to drive along the Mosel River and explore the wine villages. I haven't let her in on it but the most of my exploring will be the wineries and little else.

The Germans I have met have an interestin take on our presidential race. I'll give you a report on it the next letter I rite. Fer now, as they say in Germany,

Auf wiedersehein Mr. Editer,

—Celery City Charlie

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